Unexpected Expectations
Posted on: August 29, 2016Florida
“We all think we’re going to be great. And we feel a little bit robbed when our expectations aren’t met. But, sometimes, our expectations sell us short. Sometimes, the expected simply pales in comparison to the unexpected. You gotta wonder why we cling to our expectations. Because the expected is just what keeps us steady… standing… still. The expected is just the beginning. The unexpected… is what changes our lives.”
This monologue comes from one of my favorite episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. Coming into my NHC Florida AmeriCorps term I had no idea how much this quote would resonate with me throughout my service year.
Like many pre-med students, I did everything within my power to look good on paper. I had this check list of goals and accomplishments meant to prepare me for medical school: volunteer, shadow doctors, research, get good grades and score well on my MCAT. As I sent off my first round of applications, I held the expectation that I would get into a medical school.
Fall semester came and went, and I still had not heard from a single school. I began to doubt my abilities as a future physician. Determined not to return home and wait another year to apply, nor break down and give up my dreams, I frantically searched for other opportunities. After less than a day of research I stumbled upon the AmeriCorps organization, and I quickly grew enthralled with the idea of joining the National Health Corps.
At the beginning of this program, I had no idea what to expect. After all of my years of preparing to be a provider, my expectations for my future were suddenly rerouted as I stepped into a position I felt completely ill-prepared for. As my service term progressed I have come to learn so much about my work habits, passion in healthcare, and strengths. One of the most important lessons I learned from my service with NHC Florida AmeriCorps is how our expectations impact and shape our experiences.
Every expectation has two perspectives – what you expect from yourself and what you expect from others. These expectations guide our thought process and direct what goals we pursue.
Many people in the community I serve have never been expected to achieve much. Women who come from generations of teen mothers are often not expected to finish school, get jobs, or even live on their own. When mothers accompanied their 15 and 16 year old daughters into my clinic and appeared content or even happy about the young girl’s pregnancy, I was shocked. If I had come home pregnant at 16, my mother would have killed me. But this was all these young women had been exposed to. Thus, they conformed to this expectation.
Setting expectations is a risky business. Set them too high and you end up defeated and feel as if you are never good enough. On the other hand, not expecting enough prevents growth and limits potential. For my clients, this has proven to be especially true. I have found that when I provide my clients with the motivation and resources to achieve higher goals, they will rise to meet them. The key is helping my clients realize that they can expect more of themselves than they have been told.
Coming into this service term without well-defined expectations gave me the freedom to treat every interaction I had as a chance to gain knowledge and develop my skills and passions. This past year taught me to be more compassionate and understanding of those around me, and that setting expectations should not limit what you gain from your experiences. As I move on to fulfill my expectations as a provider, I will take with me this newfound open-minded perspective and drive, using it to inspire my patients to exceed their own expectations.
This blog post was written by NHC Florida member Caitlin Stoll.
Caitlin Served at UF Health- Healthy Start as a Care Coordinator.